| (no subject) |
[Mar. 26th, 2007|11:07 pm] |
------------CLASS--------------
"Having to read haikus in English is like being nibbled to death by goldfish." -Kamila
(Kamila, while talking about cliched words): "Everything is luminescent these days."
Kamila: Most curses don't have prefixes. Fuck. Shit.
Kaity: Fucking?
"It costs money to breathe in London." -Kamila
"If you don't have them I shall frown at you." -Kamila
Gescheider: Ok, pretend you lost everything. What would you say?!
Student 1: Shit!
Student 2: Fuck!
Student 3: Son of a bitch!
Gescheider: Good!
"The four F's. Feeding, fleeing, fighting, and...well, reproduction." -Gescheider
"You've got to laugh at these things or else you go nuts." -Gescheider
"Just don't smoke anything I wouldn't smoke." -Gescheider
"That was pretty much the end of my marriage. Well, the beginning of the end. It lasted another 20 years." -Gescheider
"I said, 'Laurie, Ann's pregnant'. He said, 'you're out of your fucking minds'. He was right." -Gescheider
"Like a professor who says dirty words in class. Goddamn ridiculous." -Gescheider
Gescheider: So, if you rate my happiness on a scale from 1-10, what would I get?
Student: A 12?
"It makes me cocky as hell today, but what the hell." -Gescheider
"If you sleep in class I'll bop you with an eraser. No, I'm just kidding, it's ok to sleep." -Gescheider
"He said, 'I'm content with my life', and I thought, 'that lucky son of a bitch'." -Gescheider
"Our goal is to put some sense into the world, instead of everything being an example of something else." -Pfitsch
"Well, it's getting to be the traditional starting time for this class, which is ten after..." -Pfitsch
Pfitsch: A shrub establishes itself here.
Me: A shrubbery?
Anika: Ni!
"You have to go out and make money for things to happen. That's just me being cynical, I'm sorry." -Pfitsch
"You guys gotta go out and change the world, or this place is going to hell in a handbasket." -Pfitsch
(Borton, after telling a story about her sick children): At least you didn't have to deal with someone covered in vomit this weekend.
(The EMT's look at each other): No comment.
"It costs you nothing to be nice. You don't even have to mean it!" -Pierce
Me, while on call: I couldn't get my act together this morning.
Jen: It's an orange bag kind of day.
Borton: We apparently can't adjust the lights.
Pierce: Anyone have a BB gun?
(Me, after typing up an hour of stats data): Want to do it again?
Remi: I'd rather jump in a pit of glass.
"We all have pathologies, you just have to learn to enjoy them. Revel when you line those books up." -Pierce
Greg, to his nine year old son: What's for dinner?
Liam: I don't know, daddy.
Greg: Cocoa puffs it is.
"I can't believe this. They didn't even put a note on it that said, 'sorry we burned your fucking pizza'." -Pierce
"I shit you not!" -Zani
Me: Amensalism is two species saying 'hey, what's up?
Caitlin: So mutualism is like they're homies.
"A cohord of cookie monsters!" -Zani
"I think things have been awkward between me and Zani ever since he saw me naked..." -Dave
"Think of this as a full-body contact easter egg hunt." -Zani
"So what actually is poop?" (Caitlin and I are the only ones that laugh) -Pfitsch
------------AA--------------
Peter: Where's Wally?
Matt: He went west.
"Hey, do you mind if I roll up your pants a little?" -Peter
"Somebody get that girl another beer." -Matt, after KBJ trips and falls
"Hey, remember that time Pete bodyslammed KBJ and she shattered her kneecap? That was awesome." -Jonjon
"Hey, remember that time when I was a sumo wrestler?" -KBJ
"Hey, do you remember when Andrew played dance dance revolution?"
"Are you trying to say I'm not a love-monster?" -Andrew
------------MISC--------------
"You can't polish a turd." -Patrick
Grace: They shouldn't be together, it's gonna be a shitshow.
Aliya: But shitshows can be the most passionate.
(During rugby, as an opposing girl starts pulling hair): "WE ARE NOT BITCHES!" -Ruthie |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 14th, 2006|01:43 pm] |
-------------AA TRAINING-------------
Matt: Brian, you've been doing really well. I've been checking you out.
Steve: Well then maybe I WILL stay!
"I'm just trying to stay out of this, I'm not campus safty, I'm just hanging out." -Wayne (Campus Safty)
"If I had a beer with you guys, the next day everyone would know I was mainlining heroin." -Andrew
"I don't know if you can answer this, but if a first year student didn't finish Alcohol edu and didn't do it for an entire year....who should they talk to?" -Dave to Lisa Mags
Andrew: I don't want to embarass you guys.
Paige: We do a pretty good job of that ourselves.
Andrew: The U.S.E. guys didn't take their vans.
Grant: Well, THAT's USE-ful!
"Bonerjam, dude." -Grant
"What's his middle name, Nutella?"
"I didn't know what do do so I just retreated to the womb of the leader cabin." -Britt
Ranger Tracy: It's a circus out here.
Grant: Oh yeah, there were a bunch of Boy Scouts around.
Ranger Tracy: And by circus I mean BEARS!
-Grant & Britt's story
Ropes course guy, in the dining hall: Go around the table and then take a quick left to avoid any traffic jams.
Grant: I wouldn't want to get another ticket!
Whoah, branch!
"COLLEGE!!"
-------------MISC-------------
"Amanda, you are such an awkward turtle." -Deanne
"What's scrambled porn? Is that like scrambled eggs?" -Me
"How many lesbians does it take to put together a vacuum?" -Katie
Me: Is Kamila gay?
Anonymous Prof: In my dreams.
(While comparing temporary tattoos)
Me: Look, we match.
Caitlin: OH! I've got one on my ass!
"Oh, so you have to have a knowledge of falafel to get the joke." -Rani
-------------CLASSES-------------
"Well if that isn't homoerotic, I don't know WHAT is." -Kamila
"I'm gonna give you a hard textbook. Harder than they give at Colgate." -Gescheider
Gescheider: I keep wanting to call you Ginger.
Becca: I like Ginger.
Gescheider: Ginger's good. Ginger's a good name. I'm gonna call you Ginger.
Gescheider: Kumar? Is that German?
Kumar: No, it's Indian.
Gescheider: I thought so.
"All fire crackers aren't the same either. You've got cherry bombs and baby wakers..." -Gescheider
Gescheider: You lost everything! Go ahead and say it! What would you say?
Student 1: Shit!
Student 2: Fuck!
Student 3: Son of a bitch!
"At Colgate they make chemicals to alter consciousness, but no Hamilton student would ever do that." -Gescheider
"Do you know what Xanax is? Your dad might use it when he gets fired from his job." -Gescheider
(Refering to white board markers) "Red on the white, Jesus. *sniffs marker* Let's go out and enjoy the sun! Maybe that's why I like these..." -Gescheider
"The four F's. Feeding, fleeing, fighting, and...well...reproduction." -Gescheider
"...so you don't end up staggering around the Colgate campus not knowing where you are." -Gescheider
Prof. Zani: Standard deviation. That's how deviant you are.
Emma: Mwa ha ha.
"If you take this 20 person group of...people..." -Zani |
|
|
| Some Hamilton and micellaneous quotes |
[Feb. 22nd, 2006|02:17 am] |
-------------AA TRAINING-------------
Andrew: Is lightning good?
All: No!
(Slam poetry?):
Dave: For you, and you, and Winnie the Pooh, and my kangaroo, jammin' in Timbuktu.
Goldberg: My zoo... of poo... but that's what it is, because you can't do this! Not like me. Not like... those three...
Dave: Can't you see? It's all free!
Goldberg: All these opportunities...
Dave: Just to be!
Goldberg: In this land so...
Dave: Free!
"The story would have ended better if I hadn't been impotent." -Jon
(after telling a really long, dramatic scary story) "and...it was a FUCKING GOBLIN!" -Steve
"If you were a venereal disease, what would you be?"
"If your skin were made of wallpaper, what pattern would it be?"
"If you passed out in a back alley, where would you wake up, and would you have clothes on?"
-Dave's theoretical questions for one of our games
"It's like the Marcy's Day Parade!" -Steve
"You should grow a ponytail. You'd look like a choir director." -Someone to Andrew
"Make up shit in order to get what you want." -Andrew
(As Jon is hugging Steve): "I wish I could quit you!" -Steve
"Indie. Here be the frisbee." -Andrew, trying to talk like a gangster.
"She's like a terrier. 'Ooo! I have a question! I have a question!'" -Sarah
"I'm just a simple cobbler." -Dave's defense during Mafia
(Dave makes a sheep sound)
All: Do it again!
Dave: Sorry, it only comes out at special times.
-------------MISC QUOTES-------------
Me: We only have Pepsi products at Hamilton.
Ben: We have coke.
Rob: We have both.
Ben: What, you guys are all too indecisive?
Rob: No, just accepting.
Me: Can I push Matt down the stairs or something so I can get an ambulance call?
Mom: Haha, sorry, no. Oh! But I could take a whole bottle of Naproxen! I'm allergic! You'd get anaphylaxis and everything!
(Talking about gays in the St Patrick's Day parade)
Pat: The head of the committee was comparing it to a jewish parade not allowing neo-nazis to march with them.
Me: oh right, becuase the gays have such a big problem with the irish people
Pat: Well, every time my family has a reunion the rainbow alliance people show up and steal all our frenchfries.
"My fingers smell bad." "Amanda likes humps." -Awkward comments made by my companion
"I'll be living the American Dream. I'll never graduate. I'll move to the Jersey shore. And I'll fuck nasty ass chicks every night." -A drunken freshman
Aim4WhirledPeas: who's this?
poopfacexoxo: guess
Aim4WhirledPeas: sam?
poopfacexoxo: how did u know that?? i hate u
"Allison Demas has invited you to join the group I'd Like To Fuck the Shit Out of Sarah Stern on facebook.com."
Sarita2585: im redonkulously obsessed w/ you
Sarita2585: i swear i don't think about you. definitely not all the time either. in fact, it's more like never. yeah. i never think about you.
Sarita2585: let's get in my dad's suv and we'll over to my house, my crib, my pad, i'll tell my mom to go to sleep then we'll have the living room all to ourselves, we;ll put on some great dvds i picked up...how bout like somethin like the matrix?
Sarita2585: THANK GOOOOOD I CHOSE THE DESK AT THE LIBSKI WITH THE GARBAGE CAN RIGHT NEXT TO IT
Sarita2585: I AM FILLING IT WITH REESES WRAPPERS
Sarita2585: I'M FAT
Sarita2585: ps: i never stare at the bottom of your profile where it hypothetically says HGHS '05 and break out in a julia roberts'esque grin thinking of how redonkulously close we live to eachother and just how much i am gonna need to see you over x-mas break. i don't do that in the same way that i'm not obsessed with you. in the same way i'm healthy. i swear.
Aim4WhirledPeas: you would not believe what's happening right now. there are 5 drunken assholes screaming outside my window
Sarita2585: no
Aim4WhirledPeas: Thomas Bacon and company
Sarita2585: I MISS HAMILTONNNNNN
Sarita2585: nobody fucks with my schoensie
"Am I going to get in trouble for everything I do?"
"Only if your name rhymes with Schlamanda Moan."
Lucky14becca: im actually not a big sledder
Lucky14becca: as a matter of fact its on my list of phobias (right next to porta potties)
"I was like, 'stop laughing Laura, it's just a squirrel.'" -Laura Mattison
katydidwhatttttt: as i once said to crystal the campus safety officer, on the phone, "see you later, bye!"
katydidwhatttttt: awkward turtle, indeed
"I have to write an essay about the Scarlet Letter. It's about this lady who cheats on her husband, so they put a red 'A' on her chest for adultry, and then everyone hates her. Or, at least I think they do. I didn't read the book." -My brother
MASLEGOMan: i have a surprise for you...
Aim4WhirledPeas: what?
MASLEGOMan: CHRIST ALMIGHTY! I SAID IT'S A F***ING SURPRISE!
MASLEGOMan: did you know that ligers actually exist?
Aim4WhirledPeas: actually, I did. And there are Tions too
MASLEGOMan: except they're gigantic, horribly violent and bent on world conquest.
MASLEGOMan: or so i've heard
plutoOonium: i'm pretty sure theres a naked man in my room right now.
Automated message from hood4546: library
Aim4WhirledPeas: Dork
hood4546: did i put up the library message? oops this is what it was supposed to be:
hood4546: piecing maaaad biddies
My RA: OH NO!
Everyone in my hall: What?!
RA: I left my underwear in my math teacher's office!
KateReese13: like the jaws music
KateReese13: duh na na na duh na na na NA NA NAAAAAAAAAA NA NA NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
DougW29: as if you weren't already a minority, being a jewish lesbian
KateReese13: yes xangaaaaaaaaaaaa
KateReese13: its kind of like People magazine
KateReese13: except a) true not gossip b) not published as often c) gay content d) sometimes even more interesting
DougW29: I feel that senior week is the antithesis of AA
DougW29: "Hello, I'm an alcoholic"
"WE KNOW! HAVE ANOTHER BEER!"
KateReese13: ew i hate you
KateReese13: at the end of your rainbow there will be no gold
"Ok, so no heavy machinery today. That means no lawnmowers, snowblowers, or chainsaws. And no arm wrestling. You also shouldn't drink for the next three days. But if you're going to anyway, you might as well do it tonight, because you'll get one hell of a buzz."
-The nurse after I gave blood
"Does everyone know each other? This is Deanne. She wears a pink coat and is Jewish. This is Amanda. She's awkward. This is Aliya. She plans on converting to Judaism now that she has a Jewish star tattoo." -Grace
Me: She said androgyny is hot.
Marielle: Who's Androgyny?
Me: Androgyny's a noun. It means having no gender.
Marielle: I know. I was going to say, who'd name their kid that?
"Tracy has arms that could bust through the gates of hell!" -Katie's dream
"I'm going to pull my movies out of the DVD player."
"Your boobies?"
"We want to make a really legit video. You know, with animal costumes and stuff." -Marielle
Aim4WhirledPeas: sorry, I just realized that 90% of what I'm saying is not making sense right now
Lucky14becca: dont worry
Lucky14becca: this is how our convos are in real life
(after telling Sam that her facebook picture needs more cowbell):
Sam: What is cowbell??
Me: lol you don't know the SNL skit?
Sam: No
Me: Christopher Walkin keeps yelling that he "needs more cowbell"
Sam: But what is cowbell?
Me: Like, real cowbell
Sam: But why does my picture need it? I'm so confused.
Tracy: When you're driving in the snow at night, do you ever feel like you're in Star Wars?
Kristy and I: Um, YES.
"Eating ICE CREAM in THIS WEATHER?!" -Me
"Holy crap, if Oprah had a disability, she'd be God." -Kristy
(While talking about Chris Farley)
"It's too bad he had to die. But he had to die." -Steve
"My phone's been on the fritz ever since I carved my name into it." -Steve
"I really hope we all get to be AA leaders. I've always wanted children of my very own!" -Steve
Me: How are you?
Guy: I'm pretty good. It's been a fun night. How are you?
Me: I'm good thanks, how are you?
Guy: You just asked me that.
Me: I know.
Guy 1: Hey, I heard you picked up an olive with your ass.
(Silence)
Guy 2: Who'd you hear that from?
"Holy smokes, I own this school!" -Sarah Stern
"Life is like a conveyor belt, events and things come past you on that conveyor belt of life and you can't pick up every little thing and examine it for cracks, because you'll miss something great that whizzes past you on that big, black, ever-moving piece of rubber." -Emily Norton
candystripe16: right, of course, because this is third grade, didnt you know?
candystripe16: or did you miss the memo?
"Um...sorry, I thought you were someone else..." -Anne, while walking in on someone in the bathroom
gillbabes25: i don't really do africans
gillbabes25: i do latinos
-Gill, taken out of context
(while about to ring someone's doorbell in the dark during Christmas caroling): "Wouldn't this be great if we were dressed in black and wearing ski masks?" -Jackie
"Well, just run up behind her and hit her with a bat" -Jared's relationship advice
Aim4WhirledPeas: sorry, I just realized that 90% of what I'm saying is not making sense right now
Lucky14becca: dont worry
Lucky14becca: this is how our convos are in real life
"That's why there is no student commons. Because there are dildos in the vending machines." -Mr. Selesnick
"Support your local college EMS agency. Drink until you pass out." -Bennybomb
Aim4WhirledPeas: how's everything going?
ArdvarkAlli09: cassie and i are sitting in the library, close enough to hold hands, and yet we're communicating over AIM, in the largest font possible, mostly with emoticons.... how do you think it's going?
LittlePuck: i expect you to be at my game on wednesday at 7
Aim4WhirledPeas: I don't think I'll be able to make it. I have a hot date with a gorgeous freshman who's head over heels for me
LittlePuck: liar
LittlePuck: ill see you there
Sometimes we can't help but step back and admire the struggle it takes to simply be human.
-Grey's Anatomy
"What for? He's only gonna end up hurting her anyway. She's better off with me, OK? I'll protect her."
"From what? From love?"
"From pain."
"Love is pain. Life is pain. You can't protect anybody from it. It's always gonna get you."
"But sometimes, life can also be good. But you got to be open. You got to take chances. You got to let go."
"What self-help guru moron taught you that?"
"Nobody had to teach me nothing. It's common sense."
-Heartbreakers
(While playing Taboo)
"Television...there's nothing else on. You..."
"Have sex?"
"Do you have any alcohol?"
"I have peroxide."
-------------RAINBOW ALLIANCE-------------
katydidwhatttttt: today is thursgay
katydidwhatttttt: oh! just turned frigay
"Maybe it's a lobster?" -Kristy
"Oh, sad Christmas." -Katie
"I found Jesus. He's in my uterus." -Tracy
"Careful- they're sporing." -Tyler
"I found a picture from when I was about eight years old. All the other kids are quiet and just sitting there. I'm in the back of the picture, wearing a pink shirt with my arms in the air." -Tyler
(singing) "People say/ we're just friends/ but we're really lesbians..." -Deanne
"Your lips are too soft." -Tyler, describing why he doesn't like kissing girls
"That was probably my most awkward moment right after birth." -Grace
Kristy: Tracy, what are you doing?
Tracy: Feeling things up.
Kristy: Well stop, Amanda's here.
Tracy: Keep your pants on, honey.
Me (half asleep): My pants are on...?
"That'd be fun. I like running and I like gay things." -Tyler, deciding he wants to join a gay running group
Kristy: That's how lesbians have sex. They pet each other's heads.
Me: Um...not usually each other's heads...
Krissy: I need to get myself and older man.
Tracy: Try women.
"Blink182 and Everclear are the gateway drugs to lesbianism." -Kristy
-------------RUGBY-------------
"I'm from Baltimore. The ghetto side."
"I thought you lived on the Jewish side?"
"Those Jews are crazy, man. They'll burn you with a menorah. Eight times."
"Chemistry would be so much cooler if they just called it potions."
"I want your hot white cum!" -Diana screaming while drunk
"Do you need a key to get into hell?" -(see above)
"Diana, do you want to play Tetris?"
"I don't know, it's gonna be tough, because Hayden's pretty athletic."
"Hey, we can do a box wine stand." -Corn
Diana, sick, and trying to throw up: What do I do with my fingers?
Tobin: Your fingers?
Diana: Ah! She's talking about masturbation!
(While in Diana's room)
Diana: This isn't my room.
Tobin: Yes it is!
"Wouldn't that be so cool if there was an Air Bud rugby movie? It's like, 'Air Bud! You collapsed the scrum again!' And then he'd go out drinking with the team and sing something like 'Jesus can't play rugby 'cause ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff...'" -Moose
Me: ...because Jane and Kara were going out last year-
Kaitlyn: But those are two girls' names.
Me: Yeah.
Kaitlyn: OH! They're lesbians!
Me: Yup
Me: So I'm going out with [a girl] tonight.
Kaitlyn: But you don't date girls!
Me: Um, yes I do.
Kaitlyn: No you don't.
Me: Yeah, I'm gay.
Kaitlyn: That's so great! Can I give you a hug? If I was a lesbian, I would SO have a crush on you!
Diana, while hooking for the first time:
"This is crazy! You're like not even a person!"
Julia: Wow, what is that?
Benzer: That's Utica.
Julia: You're joking.
Leeann: That's a pretty elaborate joke.
Aim4WhirledPeas: you need more interesting away messages
EMB150: i know i have a hard timewith them
EMB150: especially when i'm drum
"Dude, when did MTV Cribs show up? This is like Pimp My ER. Do you like what I did with this? Those green tiles are jade. I had them imported from China. And I'm adding spinners and hydrolics to the stretcher, so the next time we play chicken with that old bag in the stretcher, I'll jump right over her." -Sarah Cornblath, on pain killers and about to receive stitches
-------------ROOMMATES and NORTH-------------
Me: I want to date a chef.
Rachel: My mom's a chef. (Pause) HEY! I saw your eyes light up!
"You're like a brash of freth air." -Rachel
"Mmmm...mouse infested...mice in my ears." -Rachel, after dropping her headphones in the previously infested garbage can
(Talking about people who drink too much while pre-gaming) "I mean, that's fine, do what you want. But it's not pre-gaming. You're already in the game. You're in the fourth quarter. You might even be benched." -Kro
"I think I might be an alcoholic, because I haven't drank for three days and I think I'm fucking fantastic for it." -Katie
"Ok, I'll friendship you." -Kro, facebooking
Kro: What are you...? Just...stop talking.
Me: Do you know what "demasiado" means? It means too much. In Spanish.
Rachel: Can I tell you a sad story?
Kro: Only if it's really sad.
raywo25: i miss you
Aim4WhirledPeas: you're just what I needed
raywo25: youre just what I needed
raywo25: damn
raywo25: you're faster
Kro: Is it hot in here?
Rachel: I DON'T KNOW I'M WEARING A FLEECE!
"Did you just say 'bags'? 'cause I swear I heard it." -Rachel
"I'm bob the fucking builder." -Rachel
"I will vomit unpasturized apple cider everywhere" -Rachel
"She said 'your', as in MY possessive!" -Kro
(as everyone's making fun of me for being gay and Jewish)
Me: You're just making fun of me because I'm the only minority here.
(Everyone looks towards Jeremy)
"Conservatives in Canada aren't even that conservative. I mean, we already have gay marriage. This new guy is just going to say, 'you can't BOTH wear a dress.'" -Katie
"I WAS excited to go back. NOW I'm just a butch lesbian with a mustache." -Pat
Jerome: There's a fruit in the room.
Me: What?
Jerome: God! You people are so sensitive!
"You're a jew and gay. We're only trying to 'cure you'." -Pat
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" -Marielle
"All my friends are really jealous i have a super cool lesbian friend." -Marielle
Gill: Oh, that's you playing the music in the shower?
Marielle: It's beacuse she's an EMT
Me: That's it. I'm going to grow old alone. I'm going to be one of those crazy old ladies with 9 cats and a gay male roommate.
Laura: That sounds like it'd be fun.
Me: Oh wait, it would be.
Caitlin: HAHAHA! Amanda! Why's that guy just walking around with a pole?
Me: Um, Caitlin, he's blind.
cjm2511: pardon me for being honesy
cjm2511: hoest
cjm2511: honest
"I'm not even on anything!" -Katie
Me: I have a UTI
Katie: Is yours from too much drinking and sex? Cause that's sure as hell how I got mine.
"I have sympathy for you. AND ALL THE ASS YOU'RE GETTING!" -Kate
-------------MATH-------------
"ASSUME it's 1-1? We don't have to ASSUME, we KNOW it's 1-1!" -Professor Redfield
(After he draws three X's through an equation)
"XXX. That goes into the evil-Vin Diesel category." -Professor Redfield
(Jumps while he says it)
"JUMP discontinuity!" -Professor Redfield
"I thought of what Professor Redfield reminds me of! A goat! Baahhh...baaahhh..." -My RA during math class
"Nah, but I don't want to, I'm tired." -Professor Redfield, when asked to do a problem again
"See? C? Si!" -Professor Redfield
"You'd think fractions would be easy, but this thing is horrible. Whoever wrote it should be shot." -Professor Redfield
"Is he making this up?" -Someone in the back of the room
"x equals a 2 or a pi or a cake if you're hungry." -Professor Redfield
"Evil evil bad. Disappear. It's gone." -Professor Redfield
Redfield: And this is complicated.
My RA: Sounds like my relationship. Just kidding. Actually I'm not. I'm tired.
"Who's the president?" "Some asshole."
"Where did the five twoths come from?" -Some girl seriously asking a question
"Egad!" -Professor Redfield
"But professor, what about trigonometric functions!?" -Damon
Charlie: Will there be partial credit?
Redfield: Oh, it doesn't matter, because you'll get this right.
Charlie: No, I'm definitely banking on partial credit.
"They're merely bites of information unless you're eating dinner." -Professor Redfield
"Oh my goodness gracious, what a day." -Professor Redfield
"1-sin(x). This is great if you have a cold and take the derivative of the cosine." -Professor Redfield
Redfield: The sin of the cos of the tan of...
Brianna: Ew! Stop!
"It's bombs away, but you fly off into the sunset and it's wonderful." -Professor Redfield
"I'm used to the RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE. It seems so silent." -Professor Redfield, talking about the heat.
"Piece of cake! Well, this is math class, so it's a piece of pi." -Professor Redfield
"Wow, that's some crazy stuff, I like it." -Charlie
"Minus a 1/4. Well...I guess 50 cents with inflation these days." -Professor Redfield
"How do you spell derivative?" -Some random person, halfway through the course
"I HATE negative routes. Never drive on them." -Professor Redfield
"I'm excited for you, what'd you derive?" -Brianna
"It's got to be more interesting than that, it's Friday." -Charlie
"I don't like anti-derivatives." "Well, I don't like YOU."
"Oh, you don't want to play with that." -Brianna
Redfield: Test Tuesday morning
Charlie: I don't think you're funny at all.
"Sud? No, sub. I'm not doing anything with laundry here." -Professor Redfield
-------------CULTURAL ANTHROPOLOGY-------------
"I can disprove your theories and argue with you and tell you your mother wears army boots." -Raybeck
Raybeck: Keystone Light tastes like yak piss. They have commercials telling you it will help your sex life.
Jerome: It's not true!
"Now, it's also awkward to ride a motorcycle in one of these." -Raybeck, while demonstrating his sarong
"Now suppose I was in Utica and I came out of an alley. Wearing a mask." -Raybeck
Raybeck: Ok, so you're in chemistry, working on an experiment.
Student: Right
Raybeck: So what do you do first?
Student: Read the directions. Wait, does my experiment work?"
Raybeck: Why?
Student, sadly: Because mine never work.
(Raybeck, after telling us a ten minute story): People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones."
(Raybeck, summing up the year): "If you don't think for yourself, other people will be happy to think for you."
-------------HOCKEY-------------
Kristina: Can I have one?
Tierney: Sorry, redheads only.
Griff: Then I get one. (whispers) I'll give it to you, Kristina.
"I used to pluck out all my eyebrows and eyelashes, so they sent me to a psychologist. But I was just doing it so I could make wishes!" -Goldberg
Kro: I want to be one of those cool sisters who buys her brother alcohol. But by the time Steven's 16, I'll be 42.
Kristina: Is your brother negative eight years old right now?
Taylor: Ugh, my nose almost got hailed off.
Kristina: Hahaha! Hailed off!
Taylor: Shut up.
Kristina: It wasn't me! Yes it was.
Kristina: Can I ask you a question? Hi! Hi? I'm Ron Burgendy?
Katie: I'm bored.
Kristina: Let's do heroin.
Katie: Let's braid each other's hair.
Kristina: Let's eat each other's hair!
Katie: Let's burn each other's hair!
Tierney: What's the difference between ADD and ADHD?
Katie: ADD doesn't exist anymore. That's what I got out of the ADHD seminar before I had to get up and leave.
Katie: You can stay at my house!
Kristina: And your mom will make us pancakes!
Katie: She doesn't do the domestic thing.
"DEATH YOU ARE MY BITCH LOVER!" -Everyone
“I HAVE A GOOD TRANSCRIPT!” -Kristina
“He had serious problems.” “Yeah, but he seriously didn’t need to disrupt the whole school with them” -Zoe
Katie: I know a girl who’s going to name her kids Porche and Carerra.
Taylor: Name one Pinto!
Kerry: Kia!
Kristina: Honda! Suzuki!
“Pump it! Do it PLEASE!” -Taylor, to the truck driver beside us
Taylor: We’re going to olive garden in 3 hours!
Kristina: 3 hours? I thought it was tomorrow! We’re going today? Did we already go? Weren’t we there yesterday?
"THAT IS NOT THE SHAPE OF CONNECTICUT!" –Tierney
Tierney: You have a virus then.
Kristina: I have a virus? I don’t have a computer!
“I’m gonna make myself sick, I can’t wait.” –Kristina, talking about dinner
Tierney: It’s like putting pure aluminum on your armpits. It can give you cancer.
Kristina: You have to wear a biohazard suit to put the deodorant on
“I think I have bigger eggs than most people.” –Tierney
“I’m moist” –Kristina
(while pulling the skin on her elbow) “You could make a whole ear out of this!” -Taylor
“My friends and I used to have chicken skin pulling contests.” -Taylor
“You could throw it over your shoulder. It’d be like a scarf.” -Taylor
“My brother dropped batteries into their tank and they all got cancer.” -Caitlin, talking about her fish
Conn College girl: Dad, go socialize.
(Dad just looks around)
Dad: Where’s the beer?
Allison: My professor just wouldn’t show up some days.
Kristina: Maybe his child died.
Taylor: He could still call.
Zoe: Maybe his phone died too.
“I didn’t see they pulled their goalie. I was like, ‘what the fuck’s going on here?’” –Bryant
Kate: We can’t use our phones until half an hour after the game.
Me: What’s the point of that?
Kate: To reflect, duh.
“Good thing we have ears. So we can put our hair behind them.” –Kristina
(After Caitlin talks about her goalie brother)
Kristina: I want to be her brother’s sister. Or her brother’s lover.
LaBarge: You know, there’s a difference.
Kristina: Not in my family.
“Fix your net! Fix your net! This is NOT a heckle!”
(later)
“You should have gotten that! This IS a heckle!” –Kristina, to the Amherst men's goalie
"You're such a fat kid." -Bryant to Quinlan, as Quinlan is eating cake
Visiting coach: So, are you doing anything tonight?
Bryant: Not really. What are you up to?
Visiting coach: I'm getting SHITFAC- oh...she's a student, isn't she? (pointing at me)
Bryant: Yes...yes she is.
"I recruited her based on her hair." -Bryant, talking about Tierney
Griff: I got points while I was driving today
Bryant: What'd you do?
Griff: They said I was going to fast, I went through a stop sign, and I didn't use my blinkers.
Kristina: And she hit a small child. |
|
|
| Writing Communications (Dr. Morelli, 1st semester, DEF) |
[May. 12th, 2005|11:45 pm] |
O “No one’s going to comment in a negative way, and if they do, I’ll take care of them.” –Dr. Morelli
O ““Did Keith just say ‘buttload?’” “I’m afraid he did.” –Ian & Dr. Morelli
O “I didn’t know there were gangs in this school.” “Yeah. This one gang wanted me to join because of my skills with a bowstaff.” –Dr. Morelli & Keith
O “How much did you show and how much did you tell?” “I have about two thirds percent showage.” –Dr. Morelli & Keith
O “It’s a dangling modifier.” “I have a humidifier in my room.” –Keith & Ian
O “I can’t describe it. I mean, I can describe it, and I will.” –Jordan, talking about his descriptive essay
O “How old is your sister?” “Twelve.” “Is she hot?” –Keith & Molly
O “I don’t think I’ve met with you guys in a while because of bomb day.” –Dr. Morelli
O “I’m not cool and I’m admitting that.” –Dr. Morelli
O “That just sounds…so Chinese.” “Where did you come up with that?” –Ian & Dr. Morelli
O “Jen-ray.” “Genre?” –Keith & Dr. Morelli
O “Is it the 22th?” “Twenty-tooth?” –Keith & Dr. Morelli
O “It’ll be called ‘The Psycho Who Knows What You Did Last Summer.” –Keith
O “I have a question. But it’s kind of personal. Can you come here?” –Keith
O “It’s called ‘How To Make A Snowflake.’” “You don’t make snowflakes, God does!” –Lily & Keith
O “I’m writing about how to make a pie.” “Do you know how to make a pie?” “No.” –Kyle & Dr. Morelli
O (While reading a piece entitled “Grubby”) “What is this piece about?” “How to grubby.” –Dr. Morelli & Keith
O “She used to eat large silky bratwurst as a child.” (We all crack up) –From a piece we were reading
O “It’s redundant and full circle. It’s redundant and full circle.” –Greg
O “My paper is about 2 and 3/7 long.” –Keith
O “How do you deal with it?” “I ask myself that everyday.” –Amanda & Dr. Morelli
O “De-ten-ti-on.” –Keith
Dr. Morelli: What can cause a bad grade?
Molly: Doing drugs before you write a paper?
Mackenzie: Wouldn’t that help you?
O “What causes a headache?” “Stress, noise, Keith.” –Dr. Morelli & Jordan
O “You may not have realized it, but Keith just said something of value.” –Dr. Morelli
Dr. Morelli: Pick two similar people.
Mackenzie: Bill Gates and Paris Hilton
Kyle: Ben Affleck and Ice Cube
O “Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard and made billions of dollars.” “That IDIOT!” –Dr. Morelli & Keith
O “Takayama vs. Yama. One doesn’t have Taka.” –Lee
O “I’ve read a lot of Keith’s work and this one is unusually good.” –Ian
O “I see her point, e-bug.” –Keith to Ian
O “Am I right? Am I right?” –Keith
O “What time is it?!” –Keith
O “Come on, Mo.” –Ian
O “Is your dad a gastroenterologist? Eww…he sticks his hands…” –Keith
O “If a guinea pig went into the wild, it would be…really messed up.” –Andrew
O “Before you go down that road, make sure you signal.” –Keith
O “Scenic.” “It’s pronounced, ‘Skenic’.” –Dr. Morelli & Keith
O “Talk about the difference between New Castle cops and good cops.” –Ian
O “This small group makes me feel like I’m in a mental institution.” –Jordan
O “It’s an umbrella.” “It’s more of a bonnet.” –Dr. Morelli & Keith
O “What’s going on?” “We’re passing notes written on staples.” –Dr. Morelli & Keith
O “Have you ever eaten guinea pig? You should cook Baby Zebra. Stuff it in a grill.” “Or better yet, shove a horse in the grill!” (Greg to Andrew, and Keith making fun of Robyn)
O “But it’s ok because I’m a good-looking caveman. Then I meet Mo and hit her with my club. And I hit Jordan too. Jordan screams, ‘oh my leg,’ so I say ‘shut up.’ Then it gets a little weird.” –Ian, telling us about the story he wrote
O “I’ve always felt like this was my second family.” –Keith, in small group
(Talking about Lord of the Flies) Keith: I always felt so bad for Piggy.
Mackenzie: Why? We did that at camp.
Keith: You stoned a fat kid?
O “This is like day 6 with a lot more people.” -Keith |
|
|
| American History (Ms. Mosca, last year) |
[May. 12th, 2005|11:44 pm] |
· “Where is our government located today?” “Hawaii?” –Ms. Mosca & Blamer
· “To take over another country, you have to have a naval.”-Ms. Mosca
· “How could Congress make money without taxes?” “Hold a bakesale?”-Ms. Mosca & Robbie
· “Adam, why are you putting your jacket on?” “It’s raining men.” –Puneet & Adam
· “Back in these times, they didn’t have indoor pluming. They had to have poop. I mean sewers.” –Ms. Mosca
· “Anyone have anything more to add to the list?” “I have a bunch. Can I just unload?” –Ms. Mosca & Adam
· “My friends and I tried to get a patent once. For Jesus flavored sour kraut.” –Adam
· “Rockefeller didn’t flaunt his money that much. He didn’t even have a ballroom.” “What’s the point of being rich if you don’t have a ballroom?” –Ms. Mosca & Adam |
|
|
| Math 307 (Mrs. Weiss, last year) |
[May. 12th, 2005|11:42 pm] |
· “No no no. Don’t do that. But if you enjoy writing meaningless numbers, go right ahead.”-Ms. Weiss
· “I love this! Just crossing out numbers is great!” “Oh yeah. I like to factor in my spare time just so I can do that.”-Ms. Weiss & Knobloch
· “The Pathagorean Theorum is old school.”-Al
· “Can you please just do the problem?” “Can you please move so I can see the board?”-Ms. Weiss & Amanda
Ms. Weiss: Look, this is called ‘carbon paper’
Amanda: What are you talking about, Ms. Weiss?
Ms. Weiss (thinking I can't hear her): CAR-BON PA-PER.
· “Ms. Weiss, can I go to Divorce Group?” “Look, if you miss class, you won’t be able to do the homework, and you won’t get credit when I check it. But it would be your funeral, so it’s up to you.” “Ok, bye.”-Ms. Weiss & Amanda
· “It’s VoT sub-zero.” “Yes! Subzero, like in Mortal Combat!”
· “You know, if it was vacation right now, I wouldn’t be in math. I’d be in the cafeteria.” –Al
· “Half the test will be on this. JK!” –Ms. Weiss
· “No idea. No eyed deer. Get it?” –Ms. Weiss
· “I’m such a loser today!” –Ms. Weiss
· “Ugh! Why didn’t you think of that?!” –Al to Brian
· “But it’s easy for you. You’re a math teacher.” “Oh! I forgot!” –Al & Ms. Wiess
· “Bueller?” –Ms. Weiss
· “You can put a head on the circle and call it ‘Frosty the Pi Man!’” –Ms. Weiss
· “Two radiuses.” “Radii.” “Radiuses.” –Al & Ms. Weiss
· “I got 5. Ms. Weiss, what’s the answer?” “I don’t know yet.” “She said it was 5.” –Al & Weiss
· “Can you solve the problem so I know I’m right and can rub it in their faces?” –Al
· “I was wrong, but on this next one, you’re dead.” –Al
· “My morning class didn’t catch it. Those creepos.” –Ms. Weiss |
|
|
| AP Bio Quotes (QRS, Erhardt, last year) |
[May. 12th, 2005|11:37 pm] |
· “If carbon had the same effect as morphine, people would chew on their pencils more often.”-Erhardt
· “But then the fish would explode.”-Erhardt, talking about hypotonic solutions
· “We’re getting sidetracked on eggs here, and I don’t know why.”-Erhardt
· “So you end up with a kind of…mutant fat.”-Erhardt
· “When this stuff goes through you, it goes all the way through you.”-Erhardt
· “This is one of those little tweaky steps”-Erhardt
· “What’s the reason for fermentation? It’s not so the yeast can make booze for themselves.”-Erhardt
· “This isn’t rocket science. How many carbons are there? Count the ‘C’s…”
· “And the glucose says, ‘uh, ok, my turn.’”
· “I feel like I’m babysitting. With heavy chemicals.”-Jeen, during our lab
· “These gloves are for the big guys. The small ones are for any dainty little girls we may have in here. Chang? Are you a dainty little girl?” “Yes.”-Erhardt & Chang
· “Chickens must have the strongest sperm, because they have to break through those egg shells.”-Erhardt
· “It’s like a big pile of spaghetti. How do they deal with it?” “Eat it.”-Erhardt & Sean, discussing chromosomes
· “Guys stay softer longer.” –Erhardt, discussing growth plates
· “So say you had a male with AB blood type have children with an A type woman. Or man. Or whatever.” –Erhardt
Brooke: Mr. Erhardt, I think I’m a failure.
Erhardt: You think you are? I know you are.
Amanda: Our lab results came out perfectly for once.
Brooke: Oh, remind me, who just broke the beaker?
· “What does it matter? You take the test and when you run out of questions, you’re done.” –Erhardt
· “But why don’t our cells come back as monoploid cells?” “Well, then you’d be a fungus.” -Leigh & Erhardt
· “What do the chromosomes look like?” “Butterflies.” –Erhardt & Sean
· “It’s not like they just pop out as adults and say, ‘whoah! Let’s have sex!’”-Erhardt, discussing fruit flies
· “And you’d say, ‘Whoah! Isn’t that clever?’”-Erhardt
· “You just put them together and they do it.” –Erhardt, discussing fruit flies
· “You don’t have to ask the fly if she’s promiscuous or not.” –Erhardt
· “So I’m a bacteria, sitting on the floor. Some milk is spilled while milking a cow. Or she leaks. I don’t know.” –Erhardt
· “If you put that gene in, the bacteria would laugh at it.” –Erhardt
· “The guy who invented this was in a drug-induced stupor.” –Erhardt
· “Lungfish weren’t freaks. They were special.” –Erhardt
· “Genetics is like going to Las Vegas. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.” –Erhardt
· “So you could get a cold, the flu, rabies…” –Erhardt
· “What gives you your skin color?” “Your parents.” –Erhardt & John
· “There were sabertooth tigers in LA?” “Not recently.” –Leigh & Erhardt
· “How do you get it from AGAR?” “There are TWO ways.” –Leigh & Erhardt
· “I hate you. Why would it go through meiosis?” –Leigh
· “A caribou would be more than happy to spend the night with a reindeer.” –Erhardt
· “There’s actually a company that sells treated and sterilized human fecal matter as compost.” “I’m in the business. I sell crap.” –Erhardt & Jon
· “Lions sometimes copulate 50, 60, 70 times a day.” “I want to be a lion.” –Erhardt & ?Leigh
· “That’s disgusting.” “Yes, it is.”-Lance & Erhardt
· “Any questions?” “Yes, how was your break?” “It was ok. How was yours?” “Well, let me tell you…”-Erhardt & Lance
· “Fossil fuels!” “Organic molecules!” “Water!” “This isn’t a sporting event, it’s biology!”
· “You’ll see places that used to be landfills.” “Like New Jersey.” –Erhardt & Leigh
· “Sometimes they found that there were explosions and things underground.” “And then they built parks over them.” –Erhardt & Ben
· “I can’t believe this… my girlfriend has mono.” *Erhardt laughs* -Leigh
Leigh: I had that nice lady for Bio. She was Swish, or Polish.
Erhardt: She still is Polish, and I’m still teaching.
Sam: Did you just say Swish?
· “You put the cell in the petri dish and it says, ‘uh, ok, I guess I’m supposed to be a kidney.’” –Erhardt
· “Can we take our old tests home?” “Why the hell do you think I’ve been collecting them all year long?!” –Leigh & Erhardt
· “Animals don’t mate because they think it’s cool.” -Erhardt
· “What ever happened to Dolly?” “If she’s still alive, she’s probably on life support.” –Leigh & Erhardt
· “Mr. Houser, you’re coming to our game tonight.” “I’m Erhardt, and thanks for the personal invitation.” –Leigh & Erhardt
· “Penguins invented personal space, not your second grade teacher.” –Erhardt
Erhardt: If global warming occurs, then the North Pole may one day completely melt.
Bobby: Then what will happen to Santa?!
Erhardt: That’s a major issue in the world today.
· “You have to remember the ‘air quotes’.” –Erhardt
· “These plants are kind of…bisexual.” –Erhardt
· “I don’t know about incest in pine trees, but yes.” –Erhardt
· “How did they know syrup tasted good?” “It’s like chocolate, they just lucked out.” –Brooke and Jon
· *writes on the board* Principle Tissues. *crosses it out* Principal Tissues. *crosses it out* Main Tissues. |
|
|
| Spanish 5 Quotes (NOP, Senora Materasso) |
[May. 2nd, 2005|07:44 pm] |
O “Tell me where you are. A Spanish speaking area.” “Oh! Estamos en Mt. Kisco!” –Sra. Materasso & Eddie
O “How old is Ariel?” “Sixteen.” “She’s a little slutty for sixteen.” –Zack & Sra. Materasso
O “She’s 16. Probably 100 in mermaid years. Don’t forget that she’s a mermaid. She has a tail.” –Brooke
O “Que era una problema de Ariel?” “No tiene pantelones.” (Translation: “What is a problem of Ariel’s?” “She doesn’t have pants.”–Sra. Materasso & Brooke
O “Eddie, your mermaid’s black.” “Are you racist? Haven’t you ever heard of Affirmative Action?” –Carly & Eddie, while making Play Doh animals from The Little Mermaid
O “This is the class from hell.” “Did you just say this was the class from hell?” “No, of course not.” –Sra. Materasso & Brooke
O “This is why my heart will….go on…..” –Steve, in the middle of class
O “I said clam claps, not epileptic claps.” –Sra. Materasso
O “That means ‘a ladies man.’” “A pimp?” “No!” –Sra. Materasso & Eddie
O “How is it my fault that Greg is late? Greg has his own legs.” -Jared
O “Can’t we just have a fiesta month?” –Eddie
O (Brook pronounces a verb wrong) “There’s no such animal.” “What?” –Sra. Materasso & Brooke
O “It means ‘to take a ride.’” “Like a magic carpet ride?” –Sra. Materasso & Eddie
O “Come on! [The vocab word]’s in song 2!” “Oh, that helps me.” –Senora & Brooke
Jared: How does she know that?
Greg: She’s been doing this for 50 years!
Senora: Ouch.
O “We can make necklaces for orphans.” “What about me? I want one too.” –Senora & Eddie
O “Where are there orphans in Chappaqua?” –Eddie
O “What did he say?” “He said they had ugly legs.” “No he didn’t!” –Senora & Eddie
O “He prohibited Ariel to talk to feet?” “No, to humans.” –Jared & Senora
O (Senora keeps talking in Spanish) “I still don’t know where you’re going with this, Senora.” –Eddie
Senora: Last class was good.
Eddie: Oh, so we’re being compared now. It’s not a good learning environment.
Senora: You’re doing fine.
Eddie: Is it better than the other class? That’s all I care about now.
Amanda Weiss (to Russel): Oh my God! You’re castle is so good!
Steve: How’s mine?
Amanda Weiss: Oh…it’s good too…
O (As we’re drawing scenes from Don Quixote on the board) “Finish up.” “Wait! He has to be on a skateboard. And in a halfpipe.” –Senora & Mike
O “Shut up, I asked her first.” –Senora to Jared
O “Why are you giving me a dirty look?” “We should be having a fiesta right now.” –Senora & Eddie
Senora: What are you going to do tomorrow?
Sarah: I can’t think of anything.
Russel: Fumar?
O “I think I’m going to cut today.” “Go ahead, I don’t want to look at your face.” –Brooke & Senora
O “So you can just show up to a party wearing a deer head?” –Eddie, after looking at Spanish dance costumes
O “What does a dog do?” “Morir?” –Senora & Russel
Senora: Give me a Spanish name that starts with ‘F’
Eddie: Florentina.
Senora: Go away.
Eddie: What, my grandmother is named Florentina!
O “How do you say ‘Buffalo testicle’ in Spanish?” –Mike
(After Greg asks a stupid question) Senora: You’ll just get less points.
Jared: Yeah, but he’ll bring everyone down with him!
O (To Sarah) “Nice job, smarty pants.” –Eddie
Senora: Name something you can be allergic to.
Eddie: Birds.
Senora: Birds?
Eddie: I swear to God! You can be allergic to birds! We almost had to get rid of Petrie!
Senora: Bananas.
Jared: I don’t get it.
Senora: Neither do I. |
|
|
| APES Quotes (TUV, Oddo) |
[May. 2nd, 2005|07:07 pm] |
O “There was a bee’s nest one year. I had to take care of it at night. Gasoline works well. Those poor bees.” -Oddo
O “You’ll be depressed but that’s ok. We’ll learn about this stuff.” -Oddo
O “So should I wear a hemp shirt with papyrus sandals and live in a tree house and say, ‘dude?’” -Oddo
O “What’s in the sink?” “Dissolved packing peanuts.” “Why are they green?” “Oh, I put other stuff in there too.” –Hannah & Oddo
O “Why do they report from the site of the hurricane? It’s like, why are you there? Things are flying by and the weatherguy is falling over saying, ‘I’m here at the site of the hurricane, Jim.’”
O (Something moves in the back of the room) “What is that?” “A turtle. And here’s a head.” (Puts a mannequin head on Mike’s desk) –Mike & Oddo
O “Shut up!” –Oddo to people in the hallway
O (Oddo throws applesauce at Matt) “That’s such a waste of good applesauce. And it’s all-natural.” –Hannah
O “I bought all these mousetraps on eBay, I was going nuts.” –Oddo
O “Your class is boring.” “How much fun is hugging trees?” –Oddo & Kuczma
O “I’m teaching them to pretend like they’re interested. Show him.” (Entire class nods their heads and says “Hmmmmm….”) “Physics is boring.” –Oddo & Kuczma
O “I’m going to throw something at you! Dance! Dance!” –Oddo, while holding a soccer ball
O “They didn’t give me a SmartBoard, so I just left. I went home. I was like, ‘fine! I’m moving to Pakistan!’” –Oddo
O “I met this woman. She was a little overweight. A lot overweight. Extremely overweight.” –Oddo
(The day after the World Series ended) AB: Walker wasn’t in class.
Oddo: He was probably out celebrating.
Evelyn: Oh, Mr. Walker was out today.
O “Our guys are going to win the soccer game. They’re smarter.” “Yeah, they’ve got Kuan. He’ll be running down the field doing physics problems in his head.” –Oddo & AB?
O “I could see so many stars. I could see God.” –Oddo, talking about stargazing in the west
O (Oddo sticks his head out the door to talk to someone) “How ya doing?” (Whispers to us) “CIA.”
O “Was there a camera in the bathroom?” “There was a blinking red light on the side of the toilet bowl. I gave them a little show.” –Oddo & AB
O “Swim. Swam. Swum?” –Oddo
O “We don’t have Bunsen burners in here. We can chop wood and burn it inside, though.” –Oddo
O “Phone to nowhere.” (Picks up the phone) “Hi. How are ya?” –Oddo
O “It doesn’t affect my world. Oddo World.” –Oddo
O “…like drugs.” “What about drugs?” –Oddo & Spice
O “We’re going to read about Kevin Romani. A 3.8 kind of guy.” –Oddo
Hannah: Maybe you’re carrying the next messiah. You’d be a good candidate for that.
Amanda: I don’t need this. I want to go to college.
Matt: Come on, Amanda, don’t be selfish!
O “Ms. Diamente said that.” “She’s wrong. I’ve been here longer.” –Matt & Oddo
O “I have an alarm on my gate because there could be axe murderers or people like that.” –Oddo
O “What is it?” “Haven’t you heard of Family University!?!” “No, what is it?” “I have no idea.” –Kimi & Oddo
O “What sort of problem does he have? Is he truly impaired?” –Oddo
O “ADD just kicked in. I heard some really good music this weekend.” –Oddo
O “I don’t want a leaky anus or erections that last for two hours. Sorry, no thanks.” –Oddo
O “I woke up in the middle of the night and started hallucinating. I said, ‘oh no, I’m black.’” –Oddo
O “But it tastes so damn good.” –Oddo
O “It was a trade. She lived in my condo, I lived in her slum.” –Oddo
O “The recording said, ‘come on. Laugh.’ Haha…then I just started cracking up, and the people who stopped next to me at the light thought I was nuts.” -Oddo
O “I had no friends. It was dark. The kids didn’t understand me.” –Oddo
O “Right after the SmartBoard training starts, you’ll see me jumping out of the window screaming.” –Oddo
O “This is weird. I’m uncomfortable, but I’m ok.” –Oddo
O “Get the flies off of him! Let her talk!” –Oddo, screaming at the TV
O “Who is this?” “George W. Bush?” “Close, it’s Jesus.” –Supersize Me
O “I lost the United States!” –Spice
O “They can make food glow in the dark.” “Why would they do that?” “Just to mess.” –Oddo & Hannah
O “It’s organic. Does that mean people with Birkenstocks pick it?” Oddo
O “Here’s an upbeat book. It’s called ‘Nature’s End.’” –Oddo
O “We were looking for new and exciting ways to kill birds.” –Oddo
O “We used to go there in the dark with night-vision goggles and just take the birds out of the trees. You could play frizbee with them.” –Oddo
O “Farmers are crazy. Especially in the winter when they have nothing to do.” –Oddo
O “I played with the mercury. You know, I put it on my lunch money, and I licked it. Then I had to take the special bus to school.” “The short bus?” “Right.” –Oddo & Hannah
O I don’t care about biomagnification. When it comes to rats, it’s war.” –Oddo
O (Imitating his neighbor) “It’s New Hampshire. Live free or die. If I want to marry a twelve year old, I damn well will.” –Mr. Oddo
O “His name is George. He’s 30, but looks like he’s 100. Wears suspenders and has a long beard.” –Mr. Oddo
O (Imitating Ms. Cokrin) “My kids all went to the library and printed out 30 pages of my study guide and wasted all the paper. Then Mrs. Cokrin comes to me and says, ‘Nananna, this class is supposed to be environmental!’” –Mr. Oddo
O “Maybe one day. I have to be in one of my mischievious moods.” –Mr. Oddo
O “I make up a completely wrong weather report every day to the ladies in the office. They say, ‘you’re always wrong!’ and I’m like, ‘then why do you listen to me?!’” –Mr. Oddo
O (Talking about the guy in a video) “He’s a farmer. Why is he wearing a beret?” –Mr. Oddo
Schiller: Jane! You’re underwear is sticking out of your jacket!
Jane: What? (looks) No it’s not!
O (To Spice) “Could you laugh any louder? Your mouth is open so wide I could throw grapes into it.” –Mr. Oddo
Schiller (reading the computer screen): Welcome, Bob.
Mr. Oddo: Shut up.
O “The slant card means you’re not normal. Disabled somehow.” –Mr. Oddo
Kimi: (looking at a picture) So how big is that?
Mr. Oddo: It’s a few miles wide
Kimi: (in surprise) Shut up!
O “If you have bad gas. Not that kind of gas.” –Mr. Oddo
O “Did I tell you that story?” “The one where you thought you were black?” –Mr. Oddo & Hannah
O “The eels climbed out of the tank and died on the floor. I drew chalk lines around them like at a crime scene because they’re all stupid evil things.” –Mr. Oddo
O “He didn’t know how to speak English. He said things like ‘Hypo-thesis’ and ‘Reci-procal’.”
Mr. Oddo: I can help you study for AP Bio.
Spice: Can you help me study for AP Psych?
Mr. Oddo: I would, but I don’t know anything about psych.
Me: Neither does our teacher.
O (Talking about a product) “But it totally sold me. It had a picture of the earth on it.” –Mr. Oddo
O “I subbed in a middle school class in Poland. They didn’t speak any English, except for stuff they learned in video games and curses. They were like, ‘FUUUUUUUU….’ ‘Next please.’ ‘Press the button.’ ‘You’re the winner!’” –Mr. Oddo
(Discussing a magnetic phenomenon) Schiller: North does not just change to South
Mr. Oddo: You think you’re so smart!
Schiller: You’re retarded!
Mr. Oddo: I’ll show you. You’ll see on the next slide.
Schiller: What, do you have a picture of my mom on it or something?
O “I met all those guys. Like Bill Nye the Science Guy.” –Mr. Oddo
O “Jamie, by the way, you got sick because you got feces in your mouth yesterday.” –Mr. Oddo
O “I’m going to become your very own personal Judy Suchman.” –Mr. Oddo
O “Invertebrate meanas it has no backbone.” “Oh, I thought it was like flammable and inflammable.” –Mr. Oddo & Mike
O “That’s good for you if you want to die.” –Mr. Oddo
O “They have to hire some guy to scrape the toilet paper and used condoms off the screen. That’s what happens to environmental students who don’t study.” –Mr. Oddo
Kimi: What would happen if you drank hand sanitizer? Like with the alcohol in it?
Mr. Oddo: It’s not the same thing as drinking alcohol.
Kimi: That’s not what I meant
O “And the caribou are like, ‘ok boys, what do we do now?’” –Mr. Oddo
O “I was riding this donkey and it just ran into a cactus. I’m like, ‘Ow, stop, you stupid animal.’ Then the owner came down and beat it to death.” –Mr. Oddo
O “We found a mouse, and I think its legs are broken. What should we do?" "You should kill it." (Maryam runs out of the room) -Maryam & Oddo
O "They were sending me stick insect eggs from Germany, but customs confiscated them. Dammit."
Oddo: Here's an example of what gypsum is: Last time Arleigh had a party, which was last night [it's a Wednesday], someone put a fist through the wall. What did they break through?
All: Sheetrock.
Oddo: Right. Oh wait, the party was at Spice's house. They're at Spices every weekend.
O "Flocculating agent. Floc-u-la-tion. I like that. Floc-u, Matt." -Oddo
O "You shouldn't even be in the car. The car...wow, we haven't even gotten to S waves yet." |
|
|
| Math 406 Quotes (Ms. Kim, QRS) |
[May. 2nd, 2005|06:59 pm] |
O “We started at homework number one and ended on…Bonnie, do you remember?” “I don’t know, I never did the homework.” –Ms. Kim & Bonnie
O “How’s this room?” “It’s nice. Great acoustics. Any room with you in it is a great room.” –Ms Kim & Bonnie
O (Ms. Kim confiscates a note from Spice that says “you’re sexy”) “You have to make everybody believe you’re sexy, not tell everyone you are and wear a sign.” –Ms. Kim
O “I’ll collect your sexy notes.” –Ms. Kim
O “A heart is not a function, so ladies and gentlemen, be careful of love.” –Ms. Kim
O “Bobby?” “My name’s Bonnie.” “I know. I used to have a doll named Bobby. How about Bonita? Muy muy bonita?” –Ms. Kim & Bonnie
O “If you’re going to die for the night, or you’re going to have a nightmare, I’ll give you your test grade.” –Ms. Kim
O “Remember, the calculator is a stupid machine.” –Ms. Kim
O “I don’t believe you.” –Bonnie to Ms. Kim
O “The domain of the inverse is the range of the thing.” –Spice
O “I’m losing my conscientiousness.” “I don’t think that’s what you meant.” –Ms. Kim & Bonnie, while Ms. Kim was losing her concentration
O “Ms. Kim, can I switch partners? Mine wants to have sex with me.” –Spice
Alice: I liked the last unit.
Hilary: I liked this unit.
Jared: I hated all the units.
Bonnie: I love you, Ms. Kim.
O “Ms. Kim makes the test. She could make our final exam ‘who is your favorite superhero?’” -Jared
O (Ms. Kim imitates Bonnie by speaking in a very low voice, then says) “It’s insulting to have you not understand.” “Well, it’s insulting to have me talking as a man.” –Ms. Kim & Bonnie
O “I can’t do it. Partially because I wasn’t paying attention, partially because I don’t care.” –Jared
O “Ms. Kim, did you hear about senior midterm exemptions?” –Jared
O “We don’t have a room, we don’t have a midterm.” –Jared
O (It’s someone’s 17th birthday) “Only 17? I have to multiply that by so many numbers and then subtract some to get my age.” –Ms. Kim
O “Don’t exercise the muscles in your lips, do your work.” –Ms. Kim
O “Lauren, you make me kill yourself.” –Ms. Kim
O “Bonnie, can you see from there?” “Barely, because you put me in Siberia.” –Ms. Kim & Bonnie
O (Ms. Kim puts a problem on the board) “What are we supposed to do with this? I feel like she’s expecting something.” –Bonnie
O “What the fuck is going on in this class? What if you have no idea what’s going on? Just on that off chance?” –Bonnie
O “Keep all this in mind and it will be a crumb of cake.” –Ms. Kim
O “It’s not my best favorite.” –Ms. Kim
O (Suddenly, in the middle of class) “Wait, where am I, I’m lost.” –Ms. Kim
O “Turn off all the local channels.” –Ms. Kim
O “How much time do we have left of class?” “A negative minute.” –Ms. Kim & Spice
O “One more pi than pi. Wait, you’re confusing me.” –Ms. Kim
Ms Kim: You get a minus minus on your homework.
Jared: What’s a minus minus?
Ms. Kim: You don’t know, that’s why I don’t care.
O “Trigabilities.” –Bonnie
O “One hundred rabbit becomes double.” –Ms. Kim
O “I grassed it.” –Ms. Kim (Meaning to say “grasped”)
O “It’s a different Joe.” “Joe prime?” –Ms. Kim & Spice
O “Somehow you have to let me breathe. You’re just (gasp) shocking me all the time.” –Ms Kim
O “You take a shower and use this shampoo for continuous compound interest. At=pe^rt” –Ms. Kim
O “Don’t ask questions. Behavior first.” –Ms. Kim
O “Oh! You’re smart!” –Alice
O “Why I don’t have this?” –Ms. Kim
O “If I get two minuses, doesn’t it turn into a plus?” –Amanda
O “Minus squared is negated.” –Bonnie
O “Jordan, you can afford a minus, but Bonnie can’t.” –Ms. Kim
O “What if we ALL skip class with doctors appointments?” –Jared
O “I’m sorry, what am I saying?” –Ms. Kim
O “Spice, you have a long life ahead of you.” –Bonnie
O “COCO SASA!” –Spice & Maryssa, all the time
O “Can I go outside the classroom and die now? Because I’m like really embarrassed.” –Spice
O “That’s in your imagination in your own small world. I never said that.” –Ms. Kim
O “I believe the wise man predict the future, not just the past.” “I believe in E minor.” –Ms. Kim & Bonnie
O “I’m paddling in a river, drowning in your question.” –Ms. Kim
O *Somebody gets locked outside the classroom* “Oh, sorry! I mean to lock the door, but I didn't mean to keep it locked.” –Jared
O “Ms. Kim, if I was blind, you're the first person I'd want to lead me around." -Bonnie
O *While looking at a graph* “It doesn't look like a butt, it looks like an apple." "Ms. Kim, what kind of apples do YOU eat?" -Ms. Kim & Maryssa
O “Don't move your lips, make-rotate your brain." -Ms. Kim
O (To Alice) “I don't want you talking to your boyfriend, he can't write you a late pass."
O “Dot! Polka dot! *starts singing* Eenie meenie poney roney...polka dot bikini..." -Ms. Kim
O *The whole class is whispering to each other, planning a surprise for Ms. Kim's birthday* "I feel like I'm very outsided." -Ms. Kim
O “In five minutes we're going to start singing Happy Birthday." "But that's SUCH a long time to wait!" -Amanda & Maryssa
O (To Ms. Kim) "I feel like you've been saying this for three or four days, and it still doesn't make sense." -Bonnie
O "Sang ill chuck ha hop mi-da!" (Happy birthday in Korean)
O Me: Ms. Kim, are you going to go out partying to night?
Ms. Kim: Yes, I'll go like this *dances around*
Me: Remember, no D and D. (drinking & driving)
Ms. Kim: Yes, no D and D.
O "Ms. Kim, no math on your birthday. I'll teach you French instead." "Don't let Spice teach you anything." -Spice & Bonnie
O "Ms. Kim, you're funny!" "I am not, I'm serious." -Maryssa & Ms. Kim
|
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
aim4whirledpeas's journal